When the cards are turned
by ITILY
Summary: Mello returns to Near, three years after the Kira investigation, their meeting turns to something else...painful and sad...mentions of C-Kira case..M for rape and angst...Mello uke....Please R & R
1. When the cards are turned

Ok I'm not going to give any introduction. Just read and tell me what you think.

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**When the cards are turned**

Mello's POV

I stood, leaning against the computer table, glaring at my rival again. It's been three years now since the Kira investigation, I only came here today because I've heard the telecast concerning the recent case which heavily resembled the Kira case, however Near prefers to refer it as C-Kira (cheap Kira), for me I rather just call it bull. All of it was crap, and as much as I hate to admit it, I am 100% in support to Near's decision to ignore, or more accurately shove it aside. Now, all was to do was wait and see what happens next, either this Kira strikes or does something stupid or whatever, but Near wouldn't be very bothered anyways. Damn, just thinking about that fact makes me mad, that bigheaded twit, so damn freakin' cold! He's not even the least bit wavered that a guy who was presumed to be dead was standing right here, right now, staring right at him.

Near's POV

I knew that Mello would never let himself be killed in such a trivial manner, and as 99.9% of the time, I'm always right, this was included in those times. He was silent, spare the chocolate munching, just standing in his usual huffed up way that he carried himself. Nothing has change, he still hated my guts, I could tell by the intensity of the glares he was shooting at me like bullets drilling into my soul.

He finally finished his bar, crunching up the foil, while I continued my silent placing of tarot cards, I was already down to my 47th card building, and around four feet tall one, I was aiming for 12 feet for this one, then I would move on to my masterpiece, 30 foot card tower.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Mello bouncing his chocolate wrapper, a small smirk curling up on his lips, one that I've grown quite use to, looking at that expression, I was 89% certain of what he was about to do as he always did back at Wammy's.

"Mello, before doing what you are going to do-"

"So you know what I'm thinking now?" His voice was agitated, no surprise there.

"Yes, 89% positive. And so I must warn you, if you do decide to take that course of action, I will not forgive you." I emphasized.

"Hmph!" I heard his huff and the sound of cards collapsing on one another. Slowly, I dusted the cards that landed on my head, removing them from my body. I scanned the surroundings, everything was ruined, five days of hard work, stacking one after another, now completely ruin, not a single construction was spared.

I turned over, narrowing my eyes at the blonde, who was biting his lips to stop from laughing out loud. Mello, this person was certainly intriguing, his nature, was it always to be difficult and rebellious? I looked straight into his blue eyes, something evil…just as L had said and the same goes for me, I suppose. L, I like the man, he was interesting as well, but I never actually thought much of him until that day, the day he chose Mello and me to be his successors, the day he shattered the hopes and dreams of many orphans at Wammy's. L…he was evil, I learned that day, that's why I decided to continue his legacy, that's why…I like him.

But Mello, I've always like him, he was special. He wasn't ugly like L or myself, evil as it may seem for him, he was still human, something that can be touch, that's why he will never defeat me, that's why he can't ever be L. He had compassion, emotions, honesty, more than what L and I ever claimed, and yet the two of us are called justice, even though all we care about are our own goals. Well, I suppose Mello has his own goals as well, but they seemed more…beautiful, in a way, that's why…I like him.

Mello's POV

What the heck was this kid staring at? I just knocked over his entire card kingdom haven, and all he does is stare.

"What? I thought you wouldn't forgive me if I knocked them over." my itchy mouth opened.

Finally he blinked, turning to the puppet which he wore on his index and middle finger. I couldn't be sure, but one was of me, I think, and the other was himself. Ugh, just looking at the two so closely together made me sick, even if they were puppets, nothing which resembled the two of us, should ever be that close.

"Yes, as I said I will not forgive you." he was monotonous, waving his other index finger which had another puppet which I would take as L, but it wasn't a very good looking one at that. Now that I've looked closer, the puppet of me seemed very intricately constructed. Did he made those himself? Why would he make mine better than the rest?

"What? That's it? You're not going to do anything?" there was no answer, instead Near went on picking up two cards, stacking them in a triangular shape. Damn, this kid makes my blood boil.

Near's POV

I was going to ignore Mello until he finally got bored and leave, he still had a chance at this point to escape and possibly save himself, while I still kept my cool. You see, the tarot cards are very important to me, especially at this present time where there is nothing much to occupy my time with, and furthermore, stacking them is a favorite of mine.

"Mello, I suggest that you leave now." something inside me was beginning to stir. I heard another huff and something flung over, shooting the cards that I had barely stacked, in addition to hitting my hand and the Mello puppet. I observe the foreign object as it rolled, situating a spot on the ground finally, it was a pencil.

Turning, I saw the blonde smirked again, twirling another pencil in his fingers. Unforgivable, as much as I like Mello, destroying my towers once was as bad a homicide in my book and to do it twice in one day, well that would be a mortal sin, how can I bare not doing anything?

Mello's POV

The ghost stood up, I was slightly shock at the fact that Near could do that, even more so as he started to walk towards me. I didn't flinch, even as I felt his eyes absolutely glistening, dark aura radiating from the ground he stepped on. When did he get so tall? He was my height now.

We were only a few inches away from each other, from this distance, I could see how much he had changed, his hair was longer, messier, the edges of their white curls seemed to be somewhat sharpen, the same goes for his eyes. The changes were all subtle, but it made him seemed that he had grown, mature in a way and…dangerous. It almost made me shuddered, but I always knew that there was something up with this kid, something not quite in it's place, something he used his innocent face and pure white hair to cover up, something malicious and evil, perhaps even more than me.

"Mello" He breathed, "I cannot comprehend your unending desire to provoke me, the same goes for that hatred you have for me. It's such a shame" He paused, "I genuinely like you."

Before I could come up with a snappy retort, I found that my lips were locked with his, muffling my words. The hell?!

Near was a lot stronger than I remembered, he pushed me, so that I sat on the computer table which I was previously leaning against, lips glue to mine. His movements rapid as he parted my legs and stood his body between them, pinning my wrist to the table. I was shock to say the least. Near, when did he?! How?! Even the questions in my head were incoherent.

"Mmn" I felt something slick ran itself along my lower lip, probably an attempt to get me to open my mouth, like hell I will! I snapped out of my shock, pushing Near off me, quickly grabbing my gun and shot.

Near's POV

I stared at him panting, his gun still aimed at me, fuming from the previous shot which missed my ear by two inches. His blue eyes wide, was it shock? Maybe a little bit of fear?

I couldn't tell, there was so many emotions on his face, it was very fascinating. I picked myself up, it was quite an ordeal for me to walk, I didn't enjoy doing it, not at all.

"Stay away from me you, you FREAK!!" the gun aimed straight between my eyes. It almost made me hesitate to make my next advancement, however, calculating Mello's past actions, I found it quite unlikely that he would shoot me, well at least not enough to kill, because I know something that Mello would never admit to.

I stood over the blonde, who was still on the table for support, his gun on my diaphragm, hands a little trembling as he held the weapon, an accurate confirmation to my theory that he would not shoot. Gently, I pried the gun away, chucking it at the corner, far away to do any harm, blue eyes shifted up, contracting.

Poor little Mello, he looks confused and afraid. I suppose he'd never thought I was capable of such a thing. I took his chin, then crushed our lips together again, forcefully injecting my tongue into his mouth. Interesting, he tasted like chocolate.

"Mmph" he tried to make a sound, I lidded my eyes half way, seeing light pink dusting over his cheeks. Very beautiful as always, Mello.

He continued to struggle, to break free, accidentally, both of us landed on the floor. Fortunately, I landed on top of him.

"Near, what the hell are you doing?!" his voice shook ever so slightly, but this small reaction from him was good enough to keep me interested. You see, I've always enjoyed Mello's reactions, as much as he does, with his many feeble ones to get reactions out of me as well. We are quite alike, you and me, Mello.

Without saying a word, I pressed our lips together, he gasped, making it easy for me to slide my tongue in his warm mouth again. Chocolate, it's quite the pleasant taste. Quickly, I unzipped his leather vest then unbuttoned my pajama shirt, at the same time pinning the ever struggling Mello.

Once our chest were bare, I looked up in his eyes again, it almost looked like he wanted to cry, like something was breaking inside him. I wonder, could I make Mello cry? It would be quite a sight. But then, that would be wrong, this is wrong isn't it? What are my intentions? To rape Mello? What an interesting notion, however it would be very immoral, then again, morality has never exactly meant much to me.

Hmm…I met our lips again, savoring the taste, and while Mello was in temporary paralysis, I slide off my pants and undo the laces on his. His blue eyes snapped open, struggling ferociously, I tore our lips apart. He seemed to be shivering.

"N-Near, I'm sorry k, I got it now, I won't- just stop." an apology? Silly Mello, that's not what I want. What did I want? Perhaps a little revenge for all the time he beat me up when we were at Wammy's? Well. maybe a little, but no, I want Mello, he was interesting, this was interesting. The best game I've ever played.

I smiled, tugging his tight leather pants off, with a little more difficulty. So there we were in only our briefs, we weren't aroused yet. I laid on top of him, pinning him with my weight, feeling his slight shudders. I landed my elbows down on either side of his face, placing my forehead against his, staring straight in those blue eyes.

"N-Near-you-" he stopped not exactly sure of what to say, I just waited patiently, I wanted to hear him speak, what were his thoughts, "y-you're crazy!" I blinked, a little surprise. Crazy? I suppose it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say so, three years of doing nothing, of silent mourning over his death, of excruciating boredom, it could very well have driven me mad.

I closed my eyes, lowering my face, so that it laid on his, our nose touching, and brought a hand caressing his features. "What's wrong? I thought you wanted me to react." This game, I can't stop playing it, it was too fascinating.

He became still and silent, I brought my face up again, for some reason smiling, I licked the edge of his lips. He shuddered. Now I understand why he was always so persistent in wanting reactions from me, it was, how shall I put it….fun.

I ran my hand over his torso, finally on his briefs, dragging them down and tossing them aside, as I did so with mine. Now the two of us were exposed to each other, something I thought Mello had always wanted.

"P-Please..Near.." Did Mello just beg? I looked at his face, his eyes were watery, his being, it seemed like it was crumbling apart. He was fragile and very…human, I might say.

Mello's POV

I saw that playful glint in his eyes as I said those words, I couldn't believe it, I actually begged. What's happening? Why and how? This person…Near. He was on top of me, literally.

"Near, please, I'm sorry" I don't even know what those words were for, I just never felt so afraid. I didn't even know I could get so afraid.

"I told you I wouldn't forgive." Near gave a sly grin. Then I felt my legs being pressed apart and something pushed into me. "AHHH!!"

Near's POV

It was strange to hear his husky voice break like so, but everything about him seemed to be shattering now, just like the card towers that he knocked down. I rocked my hips, pushing in and out.

"Aahhh!! Near! Stop!!" Why did I enjoy hurting him? Mello, I loved you, I tried everything to get close to you, but that pride of yours, that hate, if only you haven't hated me so much, maybe my love wouldn't have grown so dangerous. You put up walls, rivalry, competition, everything to keep me away, but each step you took only compelled me to come closer.

Fascinating…I wonder if this is his first time, I doubt it, based on his reputation, however, this might be his first with a male. His eyes seemed too frightened to state otherwise. I continued, until my body decided it was time to release, I wasn't exactly mentally controlling my body, I was more focused on Mello.

After which, I pulled out, he didn't ejaculate, but no surprise there, everything was too much out of his will. "I hate you" he curled up, just a tear rolling down his face.

I know, Mello, I also know that you need me, you need this hate, without it there would be nothing for you to live for, just as much as I need you to always hate me. This one sided hate and one sided love, it's all we have. That's why, I'm thankful that you're alive and here. I was getting so bored.

"I love you Mello. Keep things interesting for me, will you?"

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Ooh, this was long wasn't it? So what did you guys think? I was reading through the net about the death note characters, found out some interesting facts, for my other story but came up with this unintentionally. I tried to write a Near seme not long ago, I don't think that one was very successful, but I like this one, I think it's good and makes sense. Anyways, I found out that Near was actually intended to like Mello, honestly, and he doesn't exactly like L. Damn, all the Death Note characters are actually quite psychotic, I love it so much, ah! Ohba is awesome!! Anyways, enough with jabbers....REVIEW!!!

P.S. You know Near's personality seemed like it should be seme but for some reason he's always uke...how did it end up that way?


	2. A cruel irony

Ok...this was suppose to be a oneshot...but I decided to make a small continuation, courtesy of Zizi, or is it Zanny now??....anyways written specially to celebrate my own birthday also..yeah that's right I'm 18!!...finally legal for credit card!!...hehe...what else am I legal for?...dunno...anyways...I think this story should be worth reading base on my 1:3 ratio...this should be one of my better works...please enjoy and REVIEW!!

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**A Cruel Irony**

Mello's POV

I'm not sure if I heard right with my head so messed up in a pile, but I think I heard him say 'I love you'. This freak, this abomination, he had no right to ever use such words, then why, why did it give me so much comfort to hear him say it? I think I might have missed a few words that came after that sentence but those words, coming from Near, it was like the best medication for the very unpleasant ordeal that I've just been through.

I must be the biggest fool, ever. Near…he's made a fool of me again.

Near's POV

To be quite frank, I had absolutely no idea what Mello could possibly do after what I said, and I had to wait quite some time before he actually responded.

"I need a shower" he said simply, his voice void, giving nothing away.

"The bathroom…" I pointed to a wooden door. He got up slowly, it seemed he might have been in pain, another theory confirmed. After he went to take his shower, I picked up our clothes, setting Mello's just outside the door, in a neatly fashion as always, and adjourned to take a bath myself, in a different bathroom, of course.

After cleaning off, I took a short pause, thinking what would be the best course of action next, whether or not to return to the room, how should I dealt with Mello, if he was even still in the building, however, if not, it would make things for me a lot easier, though I wish that wasn't the case. I'm never one to leave things hanging, every puzzle and problem had to be settled as quickly as possible.

My heart almost started beating a little faster, as I turned the knob, for whatever reason I couldn't comprehend, but I quickly forced myself to be calm and more…well, myself. My eyes immediately fell to the black-clad figure leaning against the table, it felt very de-ja-vu, one of my first time experiencing such. Mello had his gun in hand again, clicking and checking it, I supposed he might have disassembled and reassembled it, he snapped it right again, fully loaded and ready for a kill.

"Near" He looked at the ground, two hands holding the gun, which was aimed downwards towards the tile he was apparently focusing on. "Come here" he said, a little too calm and also a hint of fatigue. He seemed slouched, relaxed even, but his blue eyes, there were so many things in them, even if they weren't looking at me, I could tell he was in…dismay.

My feet began to move, with each step, I started calculating the possibilities and how to face each of them, until I was no more than a foot away from him, did my mind settled, clear of any calculations for once.

I've made a decision.

Mello's POV

"Stand here" I pointed towards the tile I had my gun aimed at, Near did so, very obediently. I felt a tinge at the bottom of my stomach. He must've been looking at me. I breathed in deeply, making it as silent as possible, I needed to act calm, not for Near, but for myself.

Blinking, realizing the slight burn in my eyes, I finally looked up at him, moving my gun along, trailing it up until it rested on his chest, right on his beating heart. I pressed hard, feeling the organ that signified any life at all in this emotionless twit, watching as the gun moved back and forth in the rhythm of the beating. So controlled, timed, perfect, as everything was about him.

How could this thing be a human? Near, he wasn't human, nothing in the sense but the fake exterior he wore.

"Is Mello going to kill me?" He speaks in that strange manner again, it made him seem very child-like, immature and vulnerable. Innocent…but I know better.

I kept my silence, I knew he was calculating me right now, any course of action, the smallest flicker would give him an upper hand in this…whatever this was we were doing. Silence took over, we could have gone like that forever, and knowing how passive Near was, it could very well have.

…until he decided to act out of character…

"Where did you go?" his voice was blank. Silence, that was the only answer I was willing to give him, he didn't deserve anything else.

"For three years, where did you go?" he asks again, trying to make himself clearer to me. I almost felt insulted, did he not think I would comprehend his question?

Another long moment passed, and he spoke again, "Why did you come back?" How much more will he say if I could keep up this silence.

"Why didn't you come any earlier? Why now? Why bothered at all?" His voice was flat, but the question he voiced was so out of place and not to mention how desperate they seemed to be intended. What was this kid trying to do?

Two pale hands reached up, hesitantly placing themselves an inch away from my own hands which clutched the gun, still pressed against his heart. My eyes widened a fraction involuntarily, what was he trying to do?

So very carefully, in a way that only this inhuman Near could pull off, he places his hands on mine, I almost let my reflex take control, the urge to pull away so strong, but I wouldn't lose like that. Whatever you do Near, I won't…

Near's POV

I watched as his eyes grew very wide, his hands shaking now, but I still held them, holding them in place, between my eyes. If he wanted to shoot, let him at least have the pleasure of certainty that it would not miss.

"What…What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he lashed, words very quickly flying out of his mouth.

"Kill me" I breathed. To have Mello kill me, I think that might have been my secret desire, strong, impulsive, rambunctious, as close as I would ever get to understanding any part of the beautiful blonde. I don't have much to live for, put aside the title of L, the legacy he left, justice, some occasional selfish urges to satisfy myself, I have nothing, or at least not enough for a want to continue.

Mello, do this for me, lose just one more time.

Placing my life in his hands, that makes me happy, to be in his hands. Mello, I almost felt sorry for him, if I could feel remorse I would, but alas, I was nothing more than a hollow shell, it doesn't take a genius to figure out I don't belong. Mello, I've always caused you torment, and after you do this, you'll probably continue to be tormented, for the rest of your remaining time in the living, but you know, and you know so very well, you won't win.

Mello's POV

What was he trying to pull? Why does he need to confuse me over and over? Why does he do these things to me?

I don't know, I can't understand anymore, I can't figure this out, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I can't deal with this, I just can't.

I give up.

Click, I release the safety, pressing the gun down on his forehead, in between those eyes. Black, empty, nothing…

* * *

Flashback

"Heyo" the little white boy says, he's so young, although I would guess he wasn't too much younger than me and yet he was left in this place. His voice, he sounds very strange, despite the fact that he can't even pronounce 'hello' properly, his tone of voice was like an old man, like my grandpa, on his dying bed.

"Hello" I said in return, shaking the weird thoughts out of my head.

"Whya shake hea?" he speaks again, I didn't realize it, but I just shook my head literally in attempt to get the thoughts out.

"Sorry"

"Sordi?" This kid was weird, but I still wanted to continue speaking to him, something was pulling and reeling me in to him. So many other kids around, why did I choose him?

"My name is Mello" I changed the subject.

"Maeo?" he says it like Mayo, kinda funny (and cute, really cute). That was the first time, anyone had called out my new name, besides the strange dark figure that had came up with it for me.

"Neaa..rr" he says his name with some difficulty just like every other word, probably because his two front teeth were missing.

"Near" I repeated, trying to make sure I heard it right. He just nods, looking at me. Black, empty, nothing…

"Yo! New kid, over here!" I turned looking at a certain redhead waving eagerly at me.

And time passed…

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I was sitting on him, seeing the blood ooze out from his hair, staining the carpets. How? Tell me how, how does he always beat me? At everything!

Another punch landed on his chest, I aimed for his heart, pounding way too hard on it, until blood filled his mouth. Suddenly, I leaned down, tauntingly close to his face, and unexpectedly, even to me, I licked the blood that dripped a thin line down to his chin. It tasted…like blood, rusty and salty, like any other person's would. He was…human?

Despicable thoughts started running through my head, things that I never thought I could be capable of thinking up, all the hurt I could possibly put Near through. I stared straight into those eyes. Black, empty, nothing…

I ran…as fast and as far away as possible. I felt so disgusted by myself, eventually coming up with the excuse that it must've been the hormones…yes, hormones, I was after all a tender age of fifteen.

* * *

"L is dead"

"If you can't solve the puzzle, you're nothing but a loser"

"I'm leaving"

* * *

"It's a race"

"We're both heading for the same destination, I'll see you at the finish line"

* * *

I can't believe after all those years, my whole life, I persevered, working so hard, having nothing and never ever getting anything, and even Matt was gone. I survived.

Three years, what was I doing, don't I ever learn? Am I not clever enough to know that there was no good that could ever come out of returning? Returning to Near…

_"I hate you"_

_"I love you Mello"_

_"Keep thing interesting for me, will you?"_

Why? Why did I come back to this? To those eyes, black, empty, nothing… I'll never have anything. I looked, stared, searched for something inside those pools of darkness that drowns me, suffocates, and pulls me into hell. All I saw, was myself, reflecting back, guess that was all he could offer to give.

Near's POV

This sure has been interesting but looks like the cards are coming together and the game coming to an end.

Mello, you sure were the worthy adversary in this game, you've made me unable to stop, unable to ever give in, never lose, but now it's time to "Finish it"

No game can last forever, it's just not fun anymore if it does. This must end before I get bored again. Wonder if we'll ever get the chance to play each other again?

Mello's POV

I stood myself up, perfectly straight, despite the fact that he had grown taller, I still managed to tower over him, even if just a little. I freed a hand, another still holding the gun, never once faltering from its place.

Slowly, not hesitantly, I place my free hand on his hair, stroking it gently as a father would with his son. There might not have been anything inside him, in spite of all I saw and felt of his exterior but I wasn't like that, I didn't want to be like that. I wanted my soul. I would do anything to save it.

"How good was I?" I had to ask.

"The best" he smirks, devilish. Near, I shudder to think of what would happen to Hell if that were the place you were going, it almost seemed cruel to hell that they had to let you in.

"I hate you" the corner of my lips twitched.

He just smiles and I pull the trigger.

Near's POV

Mello, you were always so predictable. Even with it aimed so perfectly, you missed. "I love you" The emotionless voice was misplaced, my hands shook as I wrapped my arms around him. Suddenly, I leaned down, close to his face, and unexpectedly, even to me, I licked the blood that dripped a thin line down to his chin. It was rusty and salty. Is this what all humans taste like?

I pulled my face up, to his eyes, my hands trembling terribly gently caress his bloody face. He was starting to get cold. His blue eyes were gone now. Black, empty…nothing. Was this how it was for him when he looked at my eyes?

Looks like I miscalculated, but it was also so predictable. Mello, he would have never let a win like that slip his fingers, he couldn't lose, not to me, not for just this one last time.

"It would seem the cards are turned" I muttered softly next to his ear, "Mello wins"

* * *

Ooh...this feels a little pointless now, but it also gives the first chapter more depth...so maybe it's not a complete waste...I hope you guys enjoy it...this is my first attempt at a very short fiction...I'm planning to write another story of Mello and Near soon if I get the chance...I'm getting tired of AU...so it'll probably be a Wammy house story...let's just see how that goes...anyways for now..please REVIEW!!


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